Idols, throughout the Bible they were made of stone, metal or wood or nature itself—sun, moon, rain, etc.–, but they were all used in an effort to bring some sort of blessings upon the one who sacrificed to the idol. But on a deeper level, and one which is still in operation today, is that idolatry is “anything that we come to rely on for some blessing, or help, or guidance in the place of a wholehearted reliance on the true and living God” (John Piper)
If we come to crave, love, depend upon, and trust for a blessing people’s praise to enhance our self-exaltation, or money, or power, or sex, or family, or productivity, or anything else besides God himself for the greatest blessing, help, guidance, and satisfaction, then in essence we are doing what idolatry has always done. Thus, the Apostle John concludes his first epistle with this clarion call, “Little children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21).
If verses 1-3 were looking at how we look out for others in love, here in vv. 4-6 we are encouraged to look out for ourselves. We must guard our own hearts in order to pursue genuine love for God and true holiness. So our author chooses to focus in on what are likely the two most common idols that human beings struggle with: sex and money.
4 Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. 5 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” 6 So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
These directives summon Christians to seek satisfaction of their physical needs and desires through submitting to God’s will and trusting in God’s presence. Sex and money are perennial human issues, and with both the author orients our hearts toward God, who designed our sexual drives to be fulfilled in marriage and who jealously woos our anxious hearts away from an adulterous affair with silver. In doing so, God makes good his promise never to leave us (a promise that silver cannot keep: Prov. 23:4-5; Luke 12:16-21).
He starts with sex: “Let marriage be held in honor among all…”
Marriage was under attack in the first century, either through asceticism or libertinism. Ascetics considered “virginity as necessary to Christian perfection” (Philip Edgcumbe Hughes, A Commentary on the Epistle to the Hebrews (Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans, 1977), p. 556). This later developed in the second century into the Montanist movement, which later spawned celibate monasticism. To such, those who choose marriage choose inferior spirituality.
We know that this was an issue even within the New Testament era because Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 addresses some in the church at Corinth who believed that sexual relations in marriage were spiritually defiling and that husbands and wives, though married, should refrain from all sexual contact with each other. Paul sternly rebukes them for this. Then again in 1 Timothy 4 Paul issues this warning:
“Now the Spirit expressly says that in later times some will depart from the faith by devoting themselves to deceitful spirits and teachings of demons, through the insincerity of liars whose consciences are seared, who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth. For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer” (1 Timothy 4:1-5)
But the greatest assault on marriage’s honor came from the libertines who saw marriage as irrelevant as they pursued unbridled sexual fulfillment. In fact, it was very common for Roman men to have a wife to sire his children and a number of women on the side, including slaves, to fulfill his sexual desires. There was no expectation in that society that men would be sexually faithful to their wives.
So Christians were already distinctive in the way they viewed sex and marriage. The second-century Christian writer Tertullian, for example, said, “One in mind and soul, we do not hesitate to share our earthly goods with one another. All things are common among us but our wives (Apologetics, p. 39, italics are mine)
Wouldn’t you agree that marriage is under attack in our world today? People no longer honor marriage like we used to. Instead, people ridicule it, argue against it, make fun of it, and hide from it. Divorce, adultery, cohabitation, homosexuality and transgenderism all dishonor the biblical idea of marriage. Today radical secular wisdom claims that marriage impedes self-actualization—an unforgivable sin in the eyes of modern men and women. We live in the wake of the “free sex” movement of the 1960s which allows any and every sexual expression.
So our author addresses both groups. To the one he says: “Marriage is good. Marriage is not to be forbidden or avoided. Hold marriage in high regard. Honor it as the divine gift from our heavenly Father.” To the other group he says: “And when you get married, be faithful to your spouse. Don’t defile your marriage covenant or the marriage bed by committing sexual immorality or adultery.”
So what is marriage? What does the Bible say? Well, first of all, marriage is God’s good idea. We find it in Genesis 2. Genesis proclaims, after God gave Eve to Adam, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). This is God’s instruction. It is God’s good idea.
Ray Ortlund reminds us: “What every married couple needs to know is that their marriage is a remnant of Eden. This is why every marriage is worth working at, worth fighting for. A marriage filled with hope in God is nothing less than an afterglow of the garden of Eden, radiant with hope until perfection is finally restored.”
Sam Storms gives this definition of marriage: I would define marriage as the enjoyment of spiritual and physical unity between one man and one woman based on a life-long, covenant commitment, the ultimate aim of which is to display the covenant relationship between Jesus Christ and his Bride, the Church.
Marriage, from the beginning, was between one man and one woman and it was to be a permanent, heterosexual relationship. As Jesus later said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).
There are no other acceptable alternatives in the Bible. God’s clear and unmistakable revealed will is that marriage is a life-long covenant between one man and one woman that illustrates or displays the covenant love between Christ and his Church. Same-sex marriage does not exist as far as the Bible is concerned. It is not what God calls “marriage.”
Our author says that marriage should be “held in honor.” “Held in honor” reflects the adjective timios (Acts 5:34), which can often mean “precious” in the sense of having great value, such as “precious stones” (1 Kings 10:2, 10-11; 1 Cor. 3:12). Our author focuses, therefore, on the priceless gem of sexual intimacy, to be protected by the covenant of exclusive fidelity between one man and one woman.
Charles Swindoll notices that our author places the adjective “honored” at the front of the sentence in a position of emphasis. In contrast to the triad of asceticism, immorality, and indifference, Christian marriage should be honored. (Charles R. Swindoll, Swindoll’s Living Insights: Hebrews, 215)
Our author here in Hebrews is telling us that marriage is not simply an institution or arrangement or even merely a covenant. It is not to be looked at as a negative thing, an imprisonment. Rather, it is something of immeasurable value: it is precious in the sight of God and we must treat it accordingly. Treasure it. Respect it. Esteem it. Prize it. And therefore protect it.
Honoring marriage is so vitally important partly because it is a picture of something bigger and greater and more mysterious. The Holy Spirit honors it in Ephesians 5 by using it to portray the relationship between Christ and his church (Ephesians 5:23–32). So if you dishonor marriage, you dishonor God’s picture of redemptive love. That’s a big deal!
John Piper writes:
What this implies is that when God engaged to create man and woman and to ordain the union of marriage, he didn’t roll the dice or draw straws or flip a coin as to how they might be related to each other. He patterned marriage very purposefully after the relationship between his Son and the church, which he had planned from all eternity…Those of us who are married need to ponder again and again how mysterious and wonderful it is that God grants us in marriage the privilege to image forth stupendous divine realities infinitely bigger and greater than ourselves. (https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-mystery-of-marriage).
Two sins seem to be represented here, “sexual immorality” and “adultery.” The difference, basically, is whether one is married or not. Sexual immorality, from the Greek πόρνους, from which we get our word pornography, stands for any kind of sex outside of marriage. This would include premarital sex, pornography, masturbation, polyamory and homosexuality. It is the broad sweeping term. In contrast, adultery (μοιχοὺς), can only be committed by a married person who is being unfaithful to their marriage vows and engaging in sex with someone other than their spouse.
F. F. Bruce confirms: “Fornication and adultery are not synonymous in the New Testament: adultery implies unfaithfulness by either party to the marriage vow, while the word translated ‘fornication’ covers a wide range of sexual irregularities.”
Unfortunately, sexual immorality and adultery are not confined to unbelievers in the world around us. Far too many pastors, not to mention other Christians, have fallen into sexual sins lately. That’s why this counsel from our author is so needed today!
Christopher Ash provides six reasons to take adultery very seriously in his book Marriage for God. First, adultery is turning away from a promise made to the person we married. At the wedding we turned towards them and made promises, but adultery is turning away from them and breaking those promises.
Second, adultery leads the adulterer from security to chaos. Because the adulterer has turned away, he or she enters into a life of torn loyalties. “Once the promise is broken, the barrier is breached, the secure wall of marriage is torn down, all hell breaks loose. And an adulterer finds he or she has not after all exchanged one secure place (his marriage) for another secure place (the new home with the new partner). That is the illusion, but the reality is much different.
Third, adultery is secretive and dishonest. Adultery is inherently secretive, inherently dishonest. It has to be because no one wants to trumpet that they are breaking a promise. Adultery loves the darkness and flees the light and for as long as it can it tries to remain a secret. “Whereas news of a marriage is broadcast by joyful announcement and invitations, news of adultery leaks out by rumor and under pressure.” Ouch. That alone should tell us what is at the heart of adultery, for sin loves to remain in the darkness while righteousness loves the light.
Fourth, adultery destroys the adulterer. Adultery does no favors to the adulterer. To the contrary, it undermines and erodes character and integrity. “Like all secret sin, it eats away like some noxious chemical at the integrity of the one who commits it. The moment any of us drive a wedge between what we say we are publicly and what we actually are privately, we injure ourselves at the deepest possible level.”
Fifth, adultery damages society. We can widen the scope from the individual to the society around him and see that the damage continues there, too. Adultery does harm to the very fabric of society. “Each act of adultery is like a wrecker’s ball taking a swing at the secure walls of the social fabric of society. It stirs up hatred and enmity. It encourages a culture which reckons marriage boundaries needn’t really be quite so rigid.” We love to think our sins are our own, that they concern only us. But no, our sin goes far beyond ourselves and impacts others, tragically so.
And that leads us to the sixth serious consequence of adultery, adultery hurts children. Adultery does grievous harm to an innocent party—children. “Because children are right in the thick of it, in the intimacy of the family home broken by cheating on promises, darkened by secrecy and lies, riven with conflict and hatreds.” Children thrive when there is structure, when there is stability, when there is peace and order. Children are harmed when adultery brings chaos and conflict and disunity. Children are innocent parties who are terribly harmed when adultery separates their parents.
But there is an even greater consequence that our text forewarns: God’s judgment. The reason marriage should “be held in honor among all” “the marriage bed be undefiled” is because “God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”
God’s judgment will follow the sexually impure (cf. 12:29). Under the Old Covenant the Israelites were to punish fornicators and adulterers, but under the New Covenant, God Himselfhas promised to do it.
“It is because of immorality and impurity, says Paul, that ‘the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience’ (Eph. 5:5f; cf. Rom. 1:26ff.), cutting them off from the divine blessing, as our author has warned by citing the example of Esau (12:16f.). Similarly, again, Paul admonishes the members of the Thessalonian church: ‘This is the will of God, your sanctification, that you abstain from sexual immorality…because the Lord is an avenger of all these things, as we solemnly forewarned you. For God has not called us for uncleanness, but in holiness’ (1 Thess. 4:4-7)” (Philip Edgecombe Hughes, A Commentary on the Epistle to the Hebrews, pp. 566-567).
Proverbs tells us “Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; none who touches her will go unpunished” (Proverbs 6:27-29) and “He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself” (Proverbs 6:32).
“How does God judge fornicators and adulterers? Sometimes they are judged in their own bodies (Rom. 1:24-27) as God “gives them over” to their idolatrous desires. Certainly they will be judged at the final judgment (Rev. 21:8; 22:15). Believers who commit these sins certainly may be forgiven, but they will lose rewards in heaven (Eph. 5:5ff). David was forgiven, but he suffered the consequences of his adultery for years to come; and he suffered in the hardest way: through his own children” (Warren Wiersbe, The Wiersbe Bible Commentary: New Testament, p. 842).
When our author is saying, “Let marriage be held in honor among all…” he is not saying that marriage IS held in honor by all, but is exhorting all of them to hold marriage in high honor. As Christians we should celebrate biblical marriage, we should celebrate anniversaries. Holding marriage in honor also means that we reject any marriage that does not follow the biblical example. We don’t have to be ugly about it, but we don’t honor marriage as God presented it by countenancing any other type of marriage pattern. Marriage is God’s good gift. He ordained it and defines it.
Indispensable, of course, to the honor of marriage is purity, and thus the text adds, “and let the marriage bed be undefiled” (v. 4b). “Bed” is used here as a euphemism for sexual intercourse, and in demanding that it be kept “undefiled” “our author is referring in sacrificial terms to married chastity” (Hugh Montefiore, A Commentary on the Epistle to the Hebrews (London: Adam & Charles Black, 1964), p. 240). The marriage “bed” is an altar, so to speak where a pure offering of a couple’s lives is made to each other and to God.
The Bible celebrates sex between one man and one woman united in marriage, such as we see in that book that was off-limits to young Jewish men, the Song of Solomon. There we see passionate sex which God applauds between a man and woman who were now married. Before that, he says three times, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it pleases,” or, as paraphrased by Eugene Peterson in The Message, “Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe — and you’re ready.” And that time is within the boundaries of a marriage between one man and one woman. Marriage, as an ordinance and gift from God, is neither defiling nor to be defiled.
Sex between a man and woman who have committed themselves to one another through marriage is precious and sacred and life-giving. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7:6-7 that sexual desire is not, in itself, sin. However, if someone has those desires, the answer is to get married. Marriage is the place to legitimately satisfy our sexual desires.
This was radical stuff in the pagan context—and Christians lived it out. When Pliny was sent by the Roman Emperor Trajan to govern the province of Bithynia and looked for charges against the Christians, he had to report back that on the Lord’s Day, “They bound themselves by oath, not for any criminal end, but to avoid theft or adultery, never to break their word. . . .” (William Barclay, The Letter to the Hebrews (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1957), p. 221). Christian sexual morality was unique in the pagan world and a source of wonder.
Today it is more a subject of ridicule. And it has become increasingly so today in a world that considers adultery irrelevant, purity abnormal, and sex a “right” (however and with whomever one may get it) and that has invented the egregious term “recreational sex.”
Sex is not just for reproduction, nor is it merely for pleasure, although both of those are good results. Sex is primarily to build together a one-flesh intimacy, a deepening knowledge and appreciation of one another as we meet one another’s sexual needs.
Talk-show host Dennis Prager wrote about an ad he read for a sex therapist in Los Angeles: “If you’re not completely satisfied with your sex life, give us a call.” The more he thought about it, the more he was struck by the brilliance on the ad, all because of two words: “completely satisfied.” Who is ever completely satisfied with anything?
Imagine these ads:
If you’re not completely satisfied with your spouse, give us a call.
If you’re not completely satisfied with your body, give us a call.
If you’re not completely satisfied with your church, give us a call.
We are completely satisfied with nothing.
Why are we completely satisfied by nothing on earth? Maybe it’s because we are too demanding. Maybe the answer is to bank our desires, settle for what life gives, and try to keep ourselves from wanting.
Or maybe it’s because we were made for something earth does not have to offer and we’re playing life’s game in a way it wasn’t designed to be played. (John Ortberg, When the Game is Over It All Goes Back in the Box, 193). Maybe we were made for something greater, something more satisfying. As C. S. Lewis said in his wonderful book Mere Christianity, ““If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” We were made to find our deepest desires and needs met in God Himself, not in anything He has created, even our spouses.
Can sex become an idol? Sure it can!
So John Piper reminds us…
It is astonishing that in this Psalm (51), David never prays directly about sex. His corruption all started with sex, leading to deceit, leading to murder…or did it? I don’t think so. Why isn’t he crying out for sexual restraint? Why isn’t he praying for men to hold him accountable? Why isn’t he praying for protected eyes and lust-free thoughts? The reason is that David knows that sexual sin is a symptom, not the disease. People give way to sexual sin because they don’t have fullness of joy and gladness in Jesus. Their spirits are not steadfast and firm and established. They waver. They are enticed, and they give way because God does not have the proper place in their feelings and thoughts. (John Piper, Shaped By God, 37)
Grace Still Amazes 